Take Me as I Am ! (Non-Fiction)
Wake up today battling this destroyer again. My Skin looks so hideous. I have Skin Pigmentation Disorder, which is a just coloring. Its affects the color of my skin, your skin gets its color from a pigment named melanin. Anyway, special cells make melanin, and if those cells become damaged or unhealthy, it affects melanin production, which gives you patches or for some the whole body. If you make too much melanin your skin gets darker, and you produce little it gets lighter. Just some information for you to know. Example below:
Well this disorder makes me hate myself everyday. Makes me ask myself "Why Me". I like attention, but not the attention where as i am stared at for looking like a cow, instead of beautiful. I hear people say love yourself and accept how you look. But saying it and doing it are two different task. Its not easy accepting the fact that i am not normal. I Hate the way i look, i hate what god has given me because it hasn't given me any love from another. This disorder has been given to me when i was 3 years old. Well don't think i did not overcome this destroyer, because i have. This may have taken my confidence, but not forever.
Every day at school i thought to myself "are these people actually being nice to me and want to know me, or do they feel sorry for me?" Having this disorder brings in alot of temporary fake individuals. I never had a real friend who really wanted to have a friendship. I really hated being asked what do i have? why do i have it? are you okay looking this way? the most incredible question someone had asked me was, did any of your boyfriends accept how you looked? I would look at them with a confused face because if they did not accept me, why would they stay with me for so long, and show me off, and claim me, and tell me i am beautiful. Then again i thought about it and its because they were going through situations as I. I never thought about it that why.
My sister is sometimes embarrassed in front of friends. I don't blame her i would to. I asked my parents for home schooling to avoid this embarrassment, but i didn't want give up my high school experiences. I had one more year left, i didn't give up. Over time i accepted my disorder and want to live my life without embarrassment, and insecurities about whats makes me who i am, whats a part of me.
I love myself, i love my uniqueness, and i accepted i am different, and i love it. I know your thinking like how all of a sudden you went to this insecure person, to someone who embraces who she is. Well i asked myself that question as well and i want to share my journey with you.
It was senior year, when i met someone who had a curiosity of my disorder. I was so shocked that someone would be so curious and fond of my skin. Well he had said to me was that he had never saw someone like me before and i am beautiful. I was blushing and asked why? The exact words was "You are a goddess, you are uniquely beautiful, out of everyone in this cafeteria you are the one who caught my eye, that means that you are special kind of angel, that is why you were made so differently." Those few minutes mad me see myself in a whole new perspective and i obtained some confidence about my self. He made me feel beautiful, and made me feel like i was the only girl in the world. The thought that had popped in my head was why all these years of struggling to feel beautiful, why now did god bring this boy into my life. I answered it myself, i told my self that as of now its my time to shine and be the one.
As on i told myself "i am beautiful everyday" i started finding out who i was, and believing that i am unique and different and that is Okay. I am beautiful, and i never let anyone tell me differently.
There are people out there who will accept you, and love you more than yourself. Just because a couple of people try to put you down, don't allow those comments bring you down, take it and make you stronger. You only got yourself, well no problem, you could give yourself compliments to make you feel beautiful. Compliment yourself, be Cocky all you want if that helps you. Make your self happy, not become someone, so you could impress others. Give your self attention. At the end of the day you are the one who got you, nobody, because half the time others are worried about themselves. The beliefs you have soon becomes reality. So believe you are beautiful, and that's what you will feel. The more you believe you are something, the more you become that belief. Stay Positive!! Stay Beautiful!!
Being You, Is More Beautiful Than Someone You Trying To Portray, Or Become. Always believe that your inner self is more important. If someone wants to be in your life, they HAVE TO accept all of you, or none of you, includes your flaws.
Every day at school i thought to myself "are these people actually being nice to me and want to know me, or do they feel sorry for me?" Having this disorder brings in alot of temporary fake individuals. I never had a real friend who really wanted to have a friendship. I really hated being asked what do i have? why do i have it? are you okay looking this way? the most incredible question someone had asked me was, did any of your boyfriends accept how you looked? I would look at them with a confused face because if they did not accept me, why would they stay with me for so long, and show me off, and claim me, and tell me i am beautiful. Then again i thought about it and its because they were going through situations as I. I never thought about it that why.
My sister is sometimes embarrassed in front of friends. I don't blame her i would to. I asked my parents for home schooling to avoid this embarrassment, but i didn't want give up my high school experiences. I had one more year left, i didn't give up. Over time i accepted my disorder and want to live my life without embarrassment, and insecurities about whats makes me who i am, whats a part of me.
I love myself, i love my uniqueness, and i accepted i am different, and i love it. I know your thinking like how all of a sudden you went to this insecure person, to someone who embraces who she is. Well i asked myself that question as well and i want to share my journey with you.
It was senior year, when i met someone who had a curiosity of my disorder. I was so shocked that someone would be so curious and fond of my skin. Well he had said to me was that he had never saw someone like me before and i am beautiful. I was blushing and asked why? The exact words was "You are a goddess, you are uniquely beautiful, out of everyone in this cafeteria you are the one who caught my eye, that means that you are special kind of angel, that is why you were made so differently." Those few minutes mad me see myself in a whole new perspective and i obtained some confidence about my self. He made me feel beautiful, and made me feel like i was the only girl in the world. The thought that had popped in my head was why all these years of struggling to feel beautiful, why now did god bring this boy into my life. I answered it myself, i told my self that as of now its my time to shine and be the one.
As on i told myself "i am beautiful everyday" i started finding out who i was, and believing that i am unique and different and that is Okay. I am beautiful, and i never let anyone tell me differently.
- Find what makes you happy
- Find Yourself - expose yourself to new experiences
- Be your own support
- Tell yourself things you want to hear
- Think Positive
- When you feel insecure, tell yourself "Its Okay, everyone goes through it, and many go through worst"
- Be Strong!!
- Embrace your FLAWS
- Read Inspirational, Motivational quotes
- Watch Motivational speeches
There are people out there who will accept you, and love you more than yourself. Just because a couple of people try to put you down, don't allow those comments bring you down, take it and make you stronger. You only got yourself, well no problem, you could give yourself compliments to make you feel beautiful. Compliment yourself, be Cocky all you want if that helps you. Make your self happy, not become someone, so you could impress others. Give your self attention. At the end of the day you are the one who got you, nobody, because half the time others are worried about themselves. The beliefs you have soon becomes reality. So believe you are beautiful, and that's what you will feel. The more you believe you are something, the more you become that belief. Stay Positive!! Stay Beautiful!!
Being You, Is More Beautiful Than Someone You Trying To Portray, Or Become. Always believe that your inner self is more important. If someone wants to be in your life, they HAVE TO accept all of you, or none of you, includes your flaws.